This is a bit of a serious one (and a bloody hard one to stick to sometimes) but it’s important for any personal development.

Do not blame anyone else for how you are feeling. It’s quite difficult to do; especially when something someone else has said or done has hurt you.

Here’s the thing – you can choose whether their words or actions affect you or not. It really is that simple.

When you think about it - what good actually comes from blaming someone else? You’re just letting the hate and hurt take hold of you which leaves you feeling more miserable. Take responsibly for your part (you don’t even have to apologise to the other people to achieve this). Just admit to yourself the part you played and learn from it. The rest is just unnecessary.

My ex often told that I’m not a nice person or that if I was on a reality show the population would hate me. I secretly fretted on this and lots too many hours of sleep because of it because, understandably, it’s upsetting, but, at the end of the day, it’s my decision whether I allow it to hurt me or not.

When we separated I had to do a lot of work on myself any I took responsibility for the things I did to make him say these things. I also allowed myself the respect I deserved and realised that, although I’m not perfect, I’m not a bad person at all and that lots of the aggression that was aimed at me was actually more to do with him than me.

I have to admit that initially I did blame him for making me feel like I was a bad person but it was

Obviously, when it’s accompanied with some constructive criticism, then I have to take it on board but when it’s just said to hurt then fuck that shit!

I’ve spent too many nights crying myself to sleep worrying about

This is one that, when I manage to conquar really makes a difference to my life, but blimey do I struggle to do it naturally. I seem to have to get caught up in it all before I give myself a talking to and realise that it’s up to me to allow it in or not.